• THE EPIPHINATOR--This heavy mallet lets you achieve enlightenment the old-fashioned way--by earning it.

• HOOKED ON OUIJI--Too busy to do homework with your child? Channel great teachers from the past with this helpful book! The spirits of these great educators have agreed to lend their knowledge from the afterworld: Ben Franklin, William Shakespeare, Buddah, Ghandi, Socrates (not responsible for spirit possession).

• SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE IN 187 EASY STEPS--VOLUMES 2, 3, 4 and 5 NOW AVAILABLE WITH SPECIAL WORKBOOK, FLASHCARDS AND TOTEBAG--The Buddhists say "end desire to end suffering" but you'll forget about all that when you see this handsome leather-bound gift set. You'll have to have ALL of them. The more you buy, the simpler your life becomes.